


this burning heart

by boxofwonder



Series: Ten's a lucky number [1]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: (muffled willpower blasting in the distance), Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Awakening Time, Canon-Typical Violence, Do It For Ann!, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 03:36:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14708372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boxofwonder/pseuds/boxofwonder
Summary: When she steps off the roof, Shiho never hits the ground. Instead, she finds herself in her own personal hell - a strange palace filled with her worst nightmares.(In which Akira manages to get Shiho into the cognitive world to save her, and Shiho vows that her story won't end here.)





	1. fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /kicks in the door  
> HELLO I SPENT TWO MONTHS IN THE HOSPITAL AND I AM BACK DOING THE LORD'S WORK.
> 
> Warnings in the end notes! Also, if you're watching the anime, no spoilers for the story further than we already got, so no worries about that!

She stepped off the roof, and as she fell, her heart screamed with regret.

But the ground was inevitable. She was falling,and it was over, she was falling, and she thought of Ann, her smile, her laugh, the way she hugged with her whole body the same way she did everything, without compromise - 

She fell, and she did not shatter. 

She opened her eyes and found hell instead.

 

Shiho hid away from the guards by sheer instinct, shock and disgust roiling inside her. It was a castle filled with horrors. 

Behind iron bars were her teammates, getting whipped and tortured, begging.

_ This is hell,  _ she thought again, pressing her hands over her mouth. 

To escape that man, she had chosen death, and what she had found beyond was an endless nightmare. 

Worst of all, Shiho knew _ ,  _ she knew  _ he _ was here. 

Heart racing, she hid in shadow, because she could not let him find her. Not again. 

 

When it grew quiet, she tried to talk to the other players, but they all seemed dazed. Repeated themselves, over and over. Hopeless. Dull-eyed. Like her.

It was hell.

It couldn’t be real, but she was here, and this was hell. 

 

Shiho stumbled through the castle aimlessly, heart racing so hard that her left ear had started ringing. There were more guards patrolling now, and it grew harder and harder not to get discovered. 

_ You won’t get me here.  _

It was too bad she found no higher ground to jump from, but then again, she could only imagine what the next hell would be like if she were to.

“Please, I’ve learned my lesson,” she prayed, begged, wheezed.

But this world had forsaken her.

 

She didn’t know how much time passed, but when the despair grew too overwhelming, Shiho curled up and made herself as small as she could, squeezing her eyes shut. Begging and praying and promising empty promises. She had never been religious, but right now, she’d beg any deity that might be listening.

And then there was a small noise. When she opened her eyes and looked up, there he stood. Tall and proud, with a black coat sweeping in a sharp line, and gloves as red as the blood Shiho should have spilled after - 

“Suzui,” he said, inclining his head. That voice … “I am glad I found you.”

She uncurled herself, every muscle and joint aching from the tension, and tried to stumble to her feet - 

But behind them, she saw - 

“Watch out!” she cried, but the guard had already spotted the transfer student, weapon hoisted as it charged. Shiho froze, torn between fleeing and lunging onwards, to protect -

But Kurusu moved. Like ink through water, languid, almost lazy, weightless. He ripped the mask off that armoured face and revealed another beast in a plume of smoke. 

Shiho pressed her palm over her mouth and watched, enraptured. 

 

Kurusu’s motions were so smooth and practiced that it made even the violence seem elegant and refined. 

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” he said, sheathing his blade as he returned to her, the whisper of burning eyes disappearing behind his shoulders, making Shiho blink. “But at the same time, I’m glad I managed to get you here in time.”

“Here?” she echoed, voice weak. Only now did Shiho realise she was shaking again. She’d read that was a good sign, once, but right now it didn’t feel like it. 

“This is a Palace,” he said, the word heavy with meaning that Shiho did not know, not yet. But she listened.

 

It wasn’t hell, no.

She had jumped to escape K- 

To escape that - 

To escape - 

And now, she was in his mind. Right here.

The fear in her rose and then it felt like a heavy blanket smothered the sharp emotions that threatened to tear her apart. Numb, it grew numb. The pain. The anxiety. It simply slipped away, as if Shiho was trapped behind glass, headphones on. 

She was simply … leaving.

 

When she came back to herself, they had switched positions. Her hands were no longer shaking, but she was tired, and her mind still slow. Kurusu - he was so close she could see the grey of his eyes now - was watching her. 

“Suzui?” he asked, with urgency that betrayed how many times he had called on her already. 

She blinked at him, dazed. “Yes?”

He exhaled, as if in great relief. “I was - I thought - but you can hear me.”

She closed her eyes and leaned her temple against a barrel. Hummed in reply. Shiho was so tired. She’d been - gone, hadn’t she? How strange. 

How much time had passed?

How much time had passed at all, in here?

“Can you -” Her voice barely worked. “Can you get me out of here?”

This wasn’t where she was going to die.

She refused.

“Can you stand?”

She tried to push herself up, and flinched away when Kurusu tried to help. No, no no no -

“I’m sorry.” He lifted his hands as he took several steps back. “Take your time. Ann is waiting.”

The name hit her like a slap to the face, through the haze, through it all.

Ann … 

How could she face her again now - 

Shiho buried her face in her hands. Why had she not hit the ground? Why was she here now? Why was Kurusu here, looking ready to slip into a movie, telling her about twisted desires and -

“Breathe,” said Kurusu, and Shiho forced herself to take a deep breath, and another.

Then she thought of Ann and not of the guilt, and forced herself to her feet, swaying. Shiho braced herself on a barrel and squeezed her eyes shut, trying to steel her resolve. 

“The guards -” she began, but Kurusu’s unwavering gaze told her all she needed to know before he even spoke. The calm in it was both reassuring and electrifying, after having glimpse the fire that lay beyond Kurusu’s indifferent face. “I’ll take care of the shadows,” he promised. “You just focus on walking. Ann is waiting.”

 

Shiho tried not to think of what Ann must have thought.

Must be thinking.

Or the future.

Or yesterday.

Or yesterday.

Or yesterday.

Guards attacked, and Kurusu fought. 

Colours blurred. Sometimes, Shiho thought she recognised the school, and then she saw only lush carpets and winding halls. 

_ Hell.  _

It was the mind of the one who had robbed her of everything. 

No truer hell could exist. 

But  _ she is waiting,  _ Kurusu had said, and Shiho set step after step after step forwards, eyes on the swoop of his coat, his messy hair so she wouldn’t look around herself too hard.

In another life, another reality, before the nightmare, she had wished to get to know him better. 

_ What is left now _ ?

She didn’t know. Shiho was terrified to find out. She had thought to know pain and fear, but what a fool she had been. Now that she knew, how could she keep going and wait until something else taught her how much worse it could get? How would she go on?

“Almost there,” Kurusu promised, leading her into a wide, sprawling hall.

Almost there.

 

And it could have been that.

But as she slowly picked her way through a wide throne room, inching through the shadow, Shiho heard  _ that voice.  _ Her gaze turned, even though it was the last thing she wished to do. 

And what she saw was true horror, because it was Ann, it was  _ Ann,  _ in a tacky bikini she would have never chosen. She ran in the strangest way, her hands raised daintily, swaying with every step, and  _ squealing.  _

Shiho could not stop staring, and then her gaze met -

That man, standing there, in a cape and - nothing else, and he opened his arms, and Ann -

“No,” she bit out. 

Shiho hadn’t realised she was stepping from their hiding place until Kurusu caught up with her, extending an arm to keep her from moving without touching her. “Suzui, it’s not what you -”

“ _ No,”  _ she pressed out, shoving past that arm, not caring. All she saw was Ann curl against  _ him _ , mewling and giggling like some grotesque  _ copy.  _ Like some  _ fantasy.  _

“Suzui -”

And then that man looked up, right at her. Shiho tensed, her fists clenched so tightly, it hurt, and that pain was the only thing that grounded her in her hammering heartbeat. But his gaze drifted off her, unseeing, as if all he had caused, all he had done, did not matter an ounce to him. 

(It didn’t, did it?)

“And what have we here?” asked that bastard, sounding almost bored. “Left your friend and switched him with some equally useless girl?”

“Let go of her,” Shiho bit out. Her own voice startled her, because it was strong, even when all of her was shaking. 

“Let go?!” cried the strange Ann. “How dare you! I need someone strong to hold me~”

Shiho’s stomach turned. Kurusu stepped next to her, said her name again, and this time, Shiho listened. “It’s only cognition. It’s how  _ he  _ sees her. It’s not Ann.”

Kurusu said that as if it was supposed to soothe Shiho, but she gasped for air as  _ anger  _ hit her. Not paralysis, not shock, but a flood of anger burning so hotly, it threatened to peel her skin. She trembled. “How dare you,” she breathed. 

“How dare you,” said that bastard, and wound his disgusting arm around that Ann’s naked waist. “Barge in here, insult me and my Ann?! The punishment for that is death!”

“ _ Suzui, _ ” Kurusu grit out. “It’s only me, we have to go before we get overwhelmed -” 

Guards stepped out of the shadow of the throne room in a semi-circle, but all Shiho could do was stare at the way that  _ bastard  _ dared to  _ hold her best friend,  _ mold her into this cheap copy. How dare he look at Ann and see some little kitty ready to do his bidding - 

How dare he take that sweet smile, that burning energy, all that love and joy, and wipe it away, to paint a dopey, dreamy expression like that onto her features?!

In her peripheral vision, she saw Kurusu shift, saw the glint of the dagger on his belt. 

It wasn’t a decision she _made,_ it was - like breathing. Something Shiho needed to do to survive even just another minute in this damn world. She lunged, surprising Kurusu enough to snatch the weapon. Shiho broke into a run as she fumbled with gripping it in both hands, raising it over her head. “GET AWAY FROM HER!”

Everything, everything, but  _ not Ann - _

She’d  _ stab  _ him - 

But that bastard stepped right behind Ann, who was forced to hold her ground. “No!” she squeaked, in such a faux voice, but it was her eyes, it was her face, no matter how much of a lie -

Shiho faltered, her run petering out. In the moment of confusion she became aware of herself, the unfamiliar weight of the blade in her hands, the unfamiliar weight of the attack she tried to carry out.

And that was all it took for Kamoshida to step forwards and yank the dagger from her.

Again, taking everything from her. 

Shiho stumbled backwards, but he gripped her wrist. With a scream, she yanked and twisted, managed to break free and fell down on the ground. 

“Oh, that’s right,” Kamoshida said, as Ann tossed herself at him again. “You’re that stand-in, aren’t you? Well, you were worth something, at least.”

Shiho cradled her wrist, overwhelmed. Behind her, she heard a grunt, and she turned - mouth falling open when she realised Kurusu was on the ground, held by guards. She shoved to her feet, to run towards him, but was gripped from behind again.

Screaming, she kicked and struggled, but went limp realising it wasn’t Kamoshida after all. Only guards, at least, even when her skin was still crawling. Even when she felt like she was choking.

“It’ll be okay,” Kurusu promised, even though he looked roughed up, was pressed face-down to the floor. “We’ll get out of here.”

“Thanks to your stupid stunt, he was too occupied to resist capture,” Kamoshida said, and Shiho couldn’t fight when the guards dragged her around, her back turned to Kurusu’s struggle, facing Kamoshida and fake Ann instead. “Finally I’ll get to execute him properly.” 

The smile on that face made every bruise on her body ache, brought back every memory she had tossed herself off a roof to escape. “Sh-shut up -”

She had lost her voice again. She couldn’t scream  _ again _ . 

Kurusu would die - because of her. Because he hadn’t surrendered her life the same way Shiho had.

“Now, as to you -” Kamoshida stepped closer, and Shiho felt herself freeze entirely. Her heart beat like a bird in a cage, crazed with the need to be free. Tossing itself the bars until it broke itself to a lifeless pulp. “Should I have my fun with you again?”

Kurusu screamed, and there was a burst of flames, and then a grunt of pain. 

“St-stop -” Shiho begged, hating herself for it. It hadn’t helped anything.

And then her gaze found  that skimpy fantasy version of Ann again, where she stood, her eyes wide open, a weird sneer to her. The face Shiho loved so much, twisted, distorted.

_ This is what he always saw, isn’t it?  _

What he had actually wanted, yesterday.

“You don’t like my Ann?” Kamoshida asked, making the Fake gasp in shock and giggle as he grabbed her wrist and pulled that damn copy closer. “You should _love_ her. It’s your useless friend’s fault what I had to do to you, you know.”

What. 

“If she’d just come as I called her, you wouldn’t have needed to stand in for her. She did everything else so far for your sake, so she should’ve just followed through. But since she was disobedient, it fell on you.”

Shiho spat in his face, twisting her shoulders as she shoved against the grip holding her. Two blades were raised against her neck, but this time when she froze, she was a predator poised to jump, not prey frozen by the sight of fangs.

Her voice exploded from her, freeing. “YOU BASTARD!” 

In her mind, she saw images and shivered thinking what had been done to her should have wiped the bright smile of her  _ best friend _ . And Shiho  _ remembered  _ now, every time Ann avoided her gaze, every time Ann excused herself after school, and all of that for -

To use Ann’s love against her like that, blackmailing her, pressuring her -

“Why’s such a little nobody even still yelling?” asked the false Ann, pouting. “Just kill her already.”

What a  _ lie  _ she was.

“I will, I will.” Kamoshida stepped forward. “Don’t you worry.”

The hand that had left bruises on Shiho’s skin stroked her best friend’s cheek. 

“Don’t you fucking touch her ever again, you bastard -” Shiho swallowed heavily, feeling her skin press against the sharpness of the blades. They were sharp enough for the cuts not to sting, at first - Shiho only felt the warmth of blood. “I’ll kill you before you ever even get to look at Ann again -”

“Kill me?” Kamoshida laughed. “Seems like I’m gonna kill you, mmh?”

How desperately she had wished to be dead, all these last hours, but now - 

_ Not by your hand,  _ she thought, ferociously, staring at that bastard and his disgusting get-up.

Staring at that fake Ann and refusing to be killed without seeing  _ her  _ Ann again. 

_ No. _

“Now die, as you should,” said that bastard. “You should’ve shattered on the ground.”

She realised with complete terror that she had given him that power -

That she had agreed with  _ that wretched scum  _ on her own life -

That she had been ready to give him exactly what he wanted, by jumping.

_ No,  _ she thought,  _ no. I won’t! _

“SUZUI!” shouted Kurusu. “ARE YOU JUST GOING TO LET HIM GET AWAY WITH THIS?”

The words felt like having her head shoved into ice cold water. 

“No,” she said, out loud. “No, I  _ won’t. _ ” 

Her heart lunged, hard enough to make her gasp with its force. 

There was no breath, but a voice, reverberating with power and control.  _ Here you are at last. _

Shiho screamed as pain hit her, strong enough to engulf her entire being. It was only her own body, and the voice, filling her mind, her  _ soul. _

_ Will you let that man end your life before it really began? Insult you and your beloved, abuse her the same way as you? Will you leave him to ruin the life of so many more? Or will you take a stand and put an end to this injustice? _

How could she just stand by? 

_ Will you continue your flight? Or will you take up a weapon and bring the fight to him instead? _

There was no choice! It wasn’t a question!

Just stand here and be slaughtered as she watched her best friend be treated like a puppet for a sick man’s twisted gain?!

_ It is time to stop letting scumbags take whatever they want from you. _

She stumbled, holding her head. The pain was unbearable, the voice growing louder, louder. Her heart beat to meet it, each beat heavier now, as if pumping her blood twice as hard, as fast.

_ Reach out for your power! _

And she screamed, harder, as energy pulsed through her. The guards were blown backwards with surprised grunts, and Shiho fell to her knees, gasping for air as her body  _ burned.  _

“I hear you,” she whispered. 

But she couldn’t spit the name onto the carpet as she knelt. 

_ Rise, my goddess, and take the revenge you seek. _

Choking, struggling, blind, she shoved to her feet and gulped for as much breath as she could. It was time never be quiet again. 

“MEDUSA!” she shouted into the world, and her head split in half.

Blindly, she grasped for that mask, her own desires, her own  _ heart,  _ holding her back. 

But no more. She would yield it, as a weapon. Shiho ripped with all her might until it came off, pouring blood in its wake. 

And she screamed, in agony and defiance, as she felt the flames of her rage consume her. The pain was blinding, endless.

But as it fell away, the pressure left unbreakable diamond in its wake.

Shiho breathed, feeling both her feet planted firmly on the ground, unwavering. Behind her, she knew the glowing presence of her own heart and soul.

“Finally we meet,” Medusa told her, and Shiho gripped the morning star in her hand tighter. 

Nothing had ever felt as right as this moment, glimpsing over her shoulder back at the majestic woman, the guardian of her power, and her will. 

The pain was gone, the bruises, all of it. She felt  _ powerful. _

She felt in control. 

“Lend me your strength,” Shiho demanded, twirling her weapon. It felt perfect. “Let’s turn all the scum in the world to stone.”

“As you desire,” Medusa sang, and Shiho whipped around with a sharp gesture of her arm, incinerating the guards holding Kurusu down. Then she turned and glared at that bastard and what he had made of the girl she loved the most in the world. 

He winced, stumbling a step back. “Guards!” Kamoshida called, pitiful.

Kurusu appeared by her elbow, worn down and determined. “I’ll back you up,” he promised. “Kick his ass.”

“Don’t have to tell me.” There was no hesitation this time. This was  _ her  _ weapon, after all. Shiho lunged with a scream, right at the fake, trusting the voice in her, her instinct. When that faux Ann jumped forwards to protect Kamoshida with her body, Medusa whispered  _ It is kindness,  _ and Shiho struck her with her weapon, and she fell to black smoke. 

Kamoshida stumbled, stepping on his cape and falling onto his ass. Grovelling at her heel like he had forced her to before. 

Three gruards rose to protect him.  

“It’s over, you bastard,” Shiho promised over their heads, as she summoned Medusa’s power again, and swung her weapon.  _ This  _ was what being alive meant. “For everyone you hurt, I will turn you to stone. I will  _ grind you to dust _ .”

Kurusu swooped in, diverting a blow that would have hit her, and Shiho turned her gaze away from that pitiful coward of a man and helped Kurusu cut down the guards instead. They found a rhythm, fighting together as if they had always been meant to.

Saving each other’s backs as they fell to a world of blasts and glinting blades, of weapons hitting home and more monsters pouring forth and falling back to smoke. 

By the time it was over, Kamoshida was nowhere to be found. 

“That coward -” Shiho spat. “I’m going to -” she began to start after him, but found herself stumbling, falling to her knees. Dizziness hit her all at once. “Wha- …”

“You overexerted yourself.” Kurusu knelt down next to her. “It happened to me, too. A transformation like that takes a lot of strength.”

Huh. She stared down at her hands, eyes widening as she saw them clad in gloves, deep green, shifting like scales in the light as she turned her hands. Only now did she notice the hood on her head, the cloak billowing around her shoulders, the get-up of a huntress ready to march out. And the very mask she had ripped off, before, smooth against her skin. “What …”

“It’s important we get out now, before reinforcements come. I will explain everything to you back in the real world.” This time, when Kurusu offered his arm from a respectable distance, Shiho felt calm enough - and  admittedly also desperate enough - to take it, and allow him to support her. 

She felt as if she had run all day, run beyond exhaustion, beyond haze, and kept on and on. The rush of battle had faded, and with it - 

_ I’m still with you,  _ whispered Medusa, chuckling.  _ Or do you leave your heart behind you once you leave a room? _

That made Shiho smile to herself.

A moment later she noticed Kurusu watching her, a pleased smile on his face, as well. It flustered her, a little, this attention. “What?” she asked, more defensive than she needed to.

“Nothing,” he replied cryptically.

Maybe Shiho understood some of Ann’s exasperation with her.

Ann … 

That was right. Shiho faltered, and Kurusu stopped by her side. “Is everything alright? The exit is right up ahead.”

Shiho could see it, and shivered. For those glorious, fighting moments she had forgotten her life, had forgotten what had changed it, what she had been about to do. 

Kurusu seemed to realise. “Things will be chaos,” he said, wincing. 

Shiho’s smile was bitter. Life didn’t hold much else in store for her, now. “Kurusu -” she began, cutting off when he shook his head. 

“Call me Akira,” he said. “It feels … right.”

Oh. 

Shiho ... couldn’t deny that it did. “Akira … call me Shiho, then. You don’t kick monster ass without bonding, right?” But the fire in her voice was gone. 

She closed her eyes, feeling the weight of what lay ahead choke her. Of every day that was to come. All the memories she had to fight off, and the rumours, and still seeing that bastard - 

Of facing Ann, now that she had seen - 

Shiho bit her lip. “I …” She didn’t dare open her eyes. “I don’t know if I can survive it. All of this.”

“After what I saw in there?” Akira replied, without hesitation. “I know to place my faith in you. And you are not alone. You could help us make that bastard pay. You have Ann. It won’t be easy, but it’ll be worth it.”

Shiho rubbed at her face, disgruntled how true all that was. 

She felt so tired. All she wanted was to squeeze Ann tightly, and allow herself to cry at last. To sleep this exhaustion off and figure all this confusing shit out with a little more energy. 

“Thank you,” she said instead, and let go of his arm. 

She may not be alone, but she would move onwards by her own strength whenever she could. Shiho took a deep breath. “Let’s go. I need to see Ann’s real, dumb face before I can relax.” Her smile at the prospect of that was small, but real.

Akira snorted, and led the way. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings** : Anxiety, Dissociation, Suicidal Thoughts, Mentions and threats of abuse. Nothing ‘more’ than present in canon already, but take care. 
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you for reading this story, it’s incredibly dear to my heart. I have too many feelings to hold for both Shiho and incidentally, Medusa, so this was just self indulgence x 1000000.  
> I figured since her resolve and arc stemmed from the same emotion as Ann, fire would suit Shiho! But I hope to put more thought into this in the future, when I don't get hit full force by the idea and dragged along on the ride.  
> Phantom Thief Shiho is fantastic and seeing her balance her trauma and this new power and all the new friends and justice seeking … aaaah. I wonder what else could change, with her in the mix like this.


	2. footing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which, after the fall, Shiho begins to find her footing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to keep this small and 'chill' by making it small drabbles in a series. But apparently this is becoming an actual chronological fic, at least for the First Palace right now. And then we'll see what I'll add to the series ...
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy! <3 This story takes a lot to write, but I really really love it.

Ann squeezing in next to her made Shiho feel as if she could take a breath for the first time today.

“You didn’t touch your food. Want my apple? Here, I got you strawberry milk.” Ann bent over her, shielding Shiho from view, her hair smelling like apple shampoo and her presence bringing something into the day that wasn’t whispers.

And stares.

And - 

Shiho closed her fingers around the smooth skin of the apple, but couldn’t bring herself to taste it. Only spun it. Around, around. 

She couldn’t meet Ann’s gaze, no matter how much she yearned to. Somehow, even though Shiho had been able to hide all the terrible things from her, she felt in her bones that Ann would not overlook this. Would not overlook that Shiho had been shattered. 

Ann began digging in her bag, voice still all cheerful. “I also got you some energy bars, for after training -”

Shiho flinched like she had been slapped, and tossed the words out like arms coming up to shield herself: “I quit.” 

There was a moment of terrible silence. Her grip on the apple was hard enough to bruise.

Then Ann laughed, and it sounded terribly forced. 

Shiho only stared down at her feet. If only this was all a joke. If only she could laugh and undo it.

It seemed Ann was realising, too, that something had happened. Perhaps it didn’t need a close look to her eyes to see the outline of damage done. “Wait, what? Is it because of all the weird rumours? C’mon, we both know -”

“I quit.” Her voice got away from her. The world was closing in, and suddenly Shiho was on her feet. 

“Shiho -” Ann gasped, her voice hurt and betrayed, and Shiho couldn’t  _ do  _ this. Disappoint the last person who believed in her, somehow. Whatever power had thrummed through her yesterday felt like an unreachable once-in-a-lifetime dream. 

All that had been left in the real world? Achieving in volleyball, playing for an esteemed team. And it’s  _ esteemed -  _

Now it had been ripped from her and left her less than she had been before it.

“Don’t -” Shiho managed, feeling tears well in her eyes. Ann had always been so proud and so supportive and now Shiho would rob her of that illusion. She couldn’t - she couldn’t deal with that. 

Again, she ran, like a coward, pushing through the crowd blindly. Ann called after her, but Shiho only ducked her head and forced onwards, until her lungs burned and she found herself alone in the halls. Around her, eyes trailed her. Whispers, more of them.

Half the school had noticed her yesterday and assumed she’d played a stupid prank. The rumours were everywhere, and Shiho had never wanted to hide as badly as she did today, especially from - 

She froze, her breath hitching, her throat seizing, her -

“Shiho.” It was Akira’s deep, steady voice. He stepped into her line of sight and she raised her eyes to his face as if the sight could be an anchor. “Do you have a moment? There’s someone I’d like you to meet.”

She followed, blindly. Mechanically. Just looking at him made the world spin less, make more sense, bit by bit. Even though it was the familiar sight of the school uniform, it was easy to remember his confident stride and the billowing cloak. Reminded her of the weight of a morning star, and the piercing emerald eyes of Medusa. “Akira,” she managed, her voice catching. “Was yesterday -”

Akira put an arm out behind her in some distance, ushering her up the last set of stairs. Only with the doors in sight did she realise they were headed to the roof.

She couldn’t - she couldn’t just  _ go there  _ again -

But Akira said: “It was real. And I’m not the only one with a persona. I hope you’re ready for a little more confusion.”

And out of his bag popped the head of a kitten, such a startlingly pleasant surprise that it made Shiho forget she was panicking.

And then the cat said: “Is that my cue?” And they were through the door before Shiho had even managed to close her mouth. 

  
  


“Okay. So. Back the hell up.”

She was slouching on a table across from  _ Ryuji  _ of all people who she hadn’t talked with since … middle school actually, and who apparently had gone through the same shit in the …  _ Metaverse _ . And also a cheeky speaking cat. And Akira, who sucked at hiding his glee watching her reaction. 

Shiho took a deep breath to summarise it all out loud. “Speaking cat.”

“I’m not a - !” Morgana began, but Shiho cut him off.

“Looks like a cat,” she said, counting on her fingers. “Acts like a spoiled cat. Next.”

“He’s kinda spoiled,” Akira agreed, which made Morgana cry: “Hey!” Akira lifted his arms in a casual ‘I’m just saying’ way, which made Morgana yell more.

Shiho just watched them go back and forth in banter. They seemed comfortable together, but that had to be a given considering Akira apparently carried the cat around in his bag all day.

She placed the bruised apple aside with a sting of guilt, and accepted a soda from Ryuji, who rolled his eyes at the two of them for her sake.

He was as loud and honest as always, and that strangely put her at ease. With Ryuji you always knew what you had - anger, joy, it was all written so clearly on his face. Right now his goofy grin couldn’t hide his concern, and somehow, that made her -

“I haven’t gotten tuna once!” Morgana cried, and Ryuji snorted with such force it sounded a little painful, and made the corners of Shiho’s mouth quirk in turn.

Somehow this was … peaceful. To sit in between a group of people who knew each other without knowing much of her, but knowing in some way she belonged. Sheltered from everything else, in a new safe pocket all for her.

She only wished she could drink strawberry milk and - 

Shiho stiffened, her muscles locking up. She picked at the condense-soaked label of the bottle and tried to concentrate on nothing but the cool sensation of the plastic against her fingertips. 

Ann. The whispers. The metaverse. And everything that had led to - 

“Anyways, we’re gonna punish that bastard. But it’s probably better if you sit it out, Shiho.” 

Shiho’s gaze snapped up to him, feeling as if she had been dragged from beneath water, still gasping for air and struggling to see. But  _ getting there.  _

“I mean, if Akira is right, she did awaken a pretty powerful persona,” Morgana intercepted, and slowly, Shiho’s brain managed to put together the big picture, what they were talking about. 

Talking about as if she  _ wasn’t right here.  _

Did Ryuji think she’d let him and a cat argue about what she could or couldn’t do?

Akira stayed quiet, but Shiho felt his attention on her, as if he knew that her quiet was a lie.

“Yeah, but this shit’s  _ dangerous, _ ” Ryuji insisted.

Shiho ripped the corner of the label from the bottle. “Excuse me?”

Akira leaned back further into his chair as if about to enjoy a show. He truly was way more of a menace than Shiho had given him credit for at first glance.

Ryuji blinked at her. “I mean it, going in there puts your effin’ life on the line!”

“Yeah. I figured that much from the blade at my neck,” she said coldly.  _ Besides, this world is way more dangerous.  _ But she didn’t voice that. It was just another thought to tuck away, another weight she would be forced to carry if she wanted to keep walking ahead.

“See?! And you wanna go back in there?” Ryuji shook his head. “You already got hurt - I say leave it to us, and we’ll make sure that -”

“I’m gonna take that bastard down.” Fists clenched, she met Ryuji’s gaze. That macho shit wouldn’t fly with her. Her roaring anger let her take a deep breath, and another. It felt easier than it had all day even though it should have been the opposite. She pushed off the table, rising to her full height. “Sit it out? Do you even know what that bastard took from me? You’re telling me I could get my revenge, but to sit it out like a nice damsel in distress?”

“I - that’s not what I -” Ryuji hurried to say.

“That’s  _ exactly  _ what you were saying. Well, fuck that.” She looked to Akira. “You said it’s that weird app, right? Tell me the code I need. I’ll be faster than you guys, then.”

“You can’t just -” Ryuji was wringing his hair. “I mean, going alone would be  _ worse -  _ “

“And we could use the extra muscle,” Morgana said, again. “We are obviously outmanned right now, another team member would be great. Right, leader?”

He looked to Akira, who simply nodded, but that in itself settled some of Shiho’s tension. “You should fight alongside us.”

She could see why he was the leader. The only one with some good decision making around here.

“Akira!” Ryuji said, but one gaze from Shiho shut him up.

That … was actually a good feeling. She exhaled. “Good. It’s settled then. When do we start? … Leader?” The word rang unfamiliar on her tongue, but unfamiliar was  _ good.  _ Anything that kept her mind off things.

God, she wanted to get back into the … metaverse and kick some ass. Call out to Medusa and cut down those opposing her. 

Feeling helpless was driving her insane. 

Akira tugged at his bangs. “After school, if you’re free. This is our meeting spot.” His eyes darted to the edge of the roof and he swallowed, seemingly realising only now where he had brought her. But he continued without a hitch, and Shiho appreciated him for it. “There’s no more holding back now, it is time to get rid of his distorted heart. You’ll have to get back into his Palace, but this time you won’t be alone. We’ll teach you everything else you need to know.”

“Well,” she said, swallowing hard. This was all … a lot. But not in a bad way. “As it stands a lot of free time just cleared up for me after school. So I guess it’s time to ...steal some hearts.”

 

The whispers didn’t bother her when she returned to her classroom. 

Her skin didn’t feel as thin so it was easier to bear, and Ryuji accompanied her. Again, she could read him like an open book - he was dragging his feet, searching for words. It didn’t suit someone like him who was quick to speak his mind.

Shiho took pity on him. 

“Would you sit out on the chance to make sure he hurts nobody else?” she asked him, without further ado.

Ryuji startled. “ _ What?!  _ Of course no- oh.” He rubbed at his neck, frowning. “Yeah, okay. Got’cha. It’s just -”

“I know,” she said, with conviction. “But I wouldn’t coddle you, so don’t do it to me.”

Ryuji, for a second, looked like he might argue. But then he just nodded. “You’re right. Besides, it’ll be cool to see what you got. Like, of all people - I’m kinda glad it’s you?” He gave her a sheepish grin. “Not that we couldn’t hold our own! But yeah!”

Shiho managed a smile, a genuine one. It was small, but it meant the world. “Show me what you got, then. Let’s see if you can keep up.”

Ryuji scoffed and scuffed her arm with his fist, and before he could flinch and look horrified, Shiho returned the favour, grinning. Actually grinning. She didn’t know why it was so easy not to be the fragile and splintered version of herself in front of the boys, but somehow it was. 

Ryuji grinned back, wide and infectious, and Shiho felt like this strength would get her through the day, after all. And when the glee ran out she held fast to the thought that afterwards, she’d get into the metaverse, into that huntress’ attire.

And with all she had she would make sure that nobody, nobody would be used the same way she had been.  _ Never again.  _

Now if only she could find the courage to text her  _ best friend.  _ But every time she pulled out her phone during class, she couldn’t bring herself to even read the messages left for her by Ann, the small notification showing eight new texts in the chat. 

It was only after school, when she knew she’d meet up with the boys and be unavailable for the whole time that she finally kicked her own ass.

Jeez, Shiho was seriously growing tired of her own bullshit. 

It was  _ Ann.  _ No - no matter how disappointed she would be, certainly she would still … ? 

With her heart racing, Shiho forced herself to finally open the messages she had sent during break.

 

Ann: are you okay? Where are you?

Ann: I cant find you

Ann: I’m so sorry

 

And scrolling, she found the messages of just now, guilt and fear simmering in her gut as Shiho read those.

 

Ann: This is all my fault

Ann: Im so sorry Shiho

Ann: Please dont hate me

Ann: I swear I’ll fix it

Ann: I’ll fix it all

 

“Ann,” she whispered, horrified.

Her body was faster than her mind, suddenly not a painful mess but a fine-tuned machine again. Shiho broke into a run, mindless, pushing to her absolute limit and shoving past students that shouted after her, but it didn’t matter.

Akira picked up after two rings. “Shiho?”

She clutched the phone tighter against her ear. “It’s Ann. I think she’s doing something stupid.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be working a new job for a few weeks so I'm not sure when I can update next, but I'll work hard because this cliffhanger sucks.  
> 


	3. tilted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _That’s right. I can’t break now. Not until she’s safe._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was terribly hard to write.  
> Kamoshida is back, so unfortunately we all know the trigger warnings ahead;;; But for those of you who want to be on the safe side, skip down to further notes and I'll tell you what to expect. (I'm always open to suggestions of how to do this better btw!)
> 
> I cannot WAIT to leave this arc behind me in this fic.

Shiho would have rather died than set another step into this hallway. 

But she was sprinting down it, knowing by gut feeling alone where she’d find Ann. Driven by nothing but the need to protect her best friend. 

Her sneakers screeched as she barely made the bent of a corner, running faster than horror could catch up with her, adrenaline eating every thought alive expect this:  _ Ann, I’m coming, Ann, hold on, I’m coming - _

“OPEN THE DOOR!” Shiho shouted, barreling into it with all her might. She was ready to yank it it, rain her fists down on it until everyone would be staring and he’d be forced to let Ann go, but found herself stumbling in with force. Blinking, Shiho raised her gaze, and took in the scene.

Ann, hunched in a corner, looking uncomfortable and miserable, untouched. That bastard too close still, hand outstretched as if  _ daring to - _

“Shiho?” Ann gasped.

The bastard clicked his tongue. “What do  _ you  _ want?” His gaze settled on Shiho and she refused to be paralysed. Not this time.  _ Not this time.  _ “What do you think you are  _ doing  _ here?”

Ignoring him, Shiho only looked at Ann, and her legs moved. Strode right ahead to grasp her friend’s hand, and she held on with all her might, already stepping backwards. “We are leaving.”

Only Ann’s eyes, wide blue, familiar. 

“I don’t think so -” Kamoshida began, stepping closer, and with a snarl Shiho shoved herself between him and Ann with enough force to make Ann stumble backwards. 

“ _ Shiho - _ ”

“Don’t you  _ dare  _ touch her!” Shiho scooted backwards, hunched, arms outstretched. She felt feral, ready to strike. Everything in her was poised to run or to fight, whichever would keep Ann unharmed. 

“That’d be the business of my  _ girlfriend.  _ Isn’t that right?” Kamoshida asked, voice disgustingly indulgent, looking past Shiho. Her gaze darted to Ann, too, who had her arms crossed over her chest as if desperately trying to protect herself, biting her lips. 

In one blinding moment, Shiho  _ realised.  _

She was angry at Ann for even  _ thinking  _ of doing something so stupid, but all of that only made her jump forwards. Screaming, she rammed her shoulder into Kamoshida’s gut. The impact rattled her badly, but Shiho felt nothing. She only saw Kamoshida go down, falling to the ground, lying at her feet. He gasped, and his face twisted into something terrible. 

“Shiho!” Ann cried out, and her hand slid into Shiho’s, clinging to her. “We gotta -”

“What?” Kamoshida asked, terrifyingly quiet. “Get the hell out of here? That won’t change that you raised your hand against a teacher, Suzui, just like that worthless Sakamoto.” When Kamoshida raised his head, his teeth were bloody, and it made his grin more awful. “You attacked me over getting kicked off the team, and everything you say against me now, in retaliation? It will be brushed off as empty lies of a fallen star.”

The only thing Shiho still felt as her vision tunnelled was Ann clinging to her hand. Holding on and on and on. “What I have to say will ruin you,” she said, but it was toneless, convictionless. 

“You did me a huge favour. I must thank you!” He got to his feet.

Big and towering and undefeatable. 

Ann’s nails dug into her palm.

_ That’s right. I can’t break now. Not until she’s safe.  _

“Let’s go,” Shiho said again, faint, but the words still left her lips. She moved and Ann followed, and then an arm slammed into their way. 

“If you want to give your precious friend a chance, you better stay, Taka -”

Shiho wanted to roar and fling herself at him. But it was Ryuji who launched into the room, barelling into the arm blocking their way. Akira came rushing after him, eyes flashing like daggers as he struggled to hold Ryuji back. “YOU DIRTY SCUMBAG!” Ryuji hollered.

Shiho squeezed past him, out into the hallway, freedom. She didn’t let go of Ann’s hand, she couldn’t, or she would have fallen to her knees and -

There was no emotion strong enough to how weak and worthless she felt right now.

“I see that I simply must get rid of all you troublemakers,” Kamoshida said, sounding satisfied despite the pain Shiho had inflicted. 

But Ann was behind her, safe. That much Shiho had achieved. He hadn’t put a single finger on her best friend. 

“Unless, of course -” he said meaningfully, turning his gaze on Ann.

Instead of replying, Ann flung her arms around Shiho the second Shiho tensed to jump again. No damage would be enough to -

“Shiho,” Ann breathed, her voice fragile with unshed tears. “Please … stop … it’s not worth it. Don’t make it worse.”

Shiho did not move, still completely tense as she stared that man down. “You won’t get away with this,” she promised him, darkly. She’d fucking kill him. If she couldn’t get justice, then she’d -

“We should go,” Akira said, and Kamoshida lookd ever more victorious. “Yes, run ahead now. Enjoy your last days of school. This is it - you’ll finally lose your last chance, too.”

Ann’s grip on her was tight enough for Shiho to feel her tremble, and that was the only reason she forced herself to ease out of trying to pick a fight, out of her rage, her hurt, her -

Ryuji scoffed and tore himself free from Akira’s grip, stomping down the hallway. Shiho missed the warmth of Ann’s tight embrace as she slipped away, but it was easier to watch her follow Ryuji than meet Ann’s gaze.

Akira fell in line one step behind her, escorting them all away under curious glances and whispers. He didn’t comment on how hard Shiho’s hands were shaking before she clutched her sleeves with all her might. 

 

The rooftop it was. Again.

Seemed the clue to getting Shiho on it unscathed was to just topple her entire world over beforehand, easy.

Why did she have a feeling as long as she hung around the ‘quiet’ transfer student, she wouldn’t run out of reasons to feel completely unhinged and like half of what she knew was either a lie or about to change forever? Damn. 

At least it distracted her a little from facing her biggest fear while every wound was still fresh. By the time the cool spring air greeted her, Ann had already sunk to her knees on the roof, face buried against them. There she was, bright red tights, her familiar pigtails. 

Her Ann, and Shiho felt so fond, and so endlessly angry. How could she have - 

“Ryuji, you coming with me to get drinks?”

“Huh?” Ryuji looked up from where he’d been about to reach out for Ann. “Uhhh …”

Akira made an insistent gesture, and Ryuji relented like some kind of … follower. Like it was natural to take orders from Akira. It did make Shiho think again, of the way Akira had herded them out of danger, eyes on them all at all times, guarding their backs.

Who  _ was  _ this guy?

Definitely someone who insisted she got some quality alone time with Ann, which Shiho was grateful for and hated herself for, because she was a  _ coward,  _ and a part of her was scared -  _ scared! -  _ to be alone with her best friend.

Then again, hadn’t this gone on for too long? Even before the worst possible thing had been done to her, Shiho had been so busy hiding she had not found the time or energy to look out for Ann herself anymore.

It was pathetic. 

And now everything had changed, forever. 

The worst part was, Shiho couldn’t tell yet if her friendship with Ann would be spared from that. She had to be careful, now. Gentle. More than ever. Volleyball was lost now, and what did she have, Medusa aside? 

What was left? 

"What were you thinking?!" Shiho shouted, startled herself. So much for gentle, but it was all exploding from her, and she was shaking. With rage, with despair, with - with - "Don't ever,  _ ever _ get close to that bastard again, I -"

"Why?" Ann asked, calm, which had more impact than if she had raised her voice and blustered. She lifted her face and stared up at Shiho, the fire in her eyes fierce, and cold. "Was it dangerous, is that it?"

"Yes!" Shiho shouted, suddenly feeling like crying. Damn it all. "It was dangerous as hell! There's nothing to  _ fix _ ! You don’t understand -"

"No, I  _ don’t _ !” Ann shoved to her feet, her hair flying, her eyes blazing. “I  _ don’t  _ because my  _ best friend  _ doesn’t tell me  _ anything _ ! I knew it was dangerous but at least I tried to fix shit instead of -”

“Instead of what,” Shiho demanded, every fiber of her on edge. If Ann would call into questons everything she had endured to stay on the team - 

“Instead of  _ jumping _ !” Ann spat out and clapped a hand over her mouth, making an awful noise.

It knocked the breath from Shiho’s lungs. 

She knew. Ann knew. "I - what ... ?"

"Don't play stupid with me, Shiho," Ann forced out. Her fists were clenched, but worse, they were shaking. Even though Ann's eyes were shining wet with tears, they did not fall. "I saw it. I saw you fall. I don't know what - what happened. All I know is that you don't get to lecture me about dangerous things when I -" Ann angrily reached up as the first tear fell, her shoulders shaking. "When it's obviously my fault that you -"

"Do you seriously think I -" Shiho stumbled a step closer. Her anger was blown away by Ann's tears, and by the shame rising in her as she realised what Ann had  _ seen.  _

If she had not been pulled into the metaverse - that might have been the last thing Ann would have ever seen of her.

Suddenly, Shiho felt sick. 

"It's my fault he kicked you off the team," Ann forced out, her voice shattering. "So it's my fault that it made you want to _ - _ ”

Shiho grabbed Ann's shoulders, her heart racing. 

No, no, no. 

This was so wrong. "None of that - none of it had anything to do with you. Or was your fault! Ann!"

"You would've left me behind," Ann said, and a sob ripped from her that tore Shiho's heart in two. Suddenly, her whole body was shaking, and all Shiho could do was wrap her arms around her, holding her tightly. Ann sank to her knees, and Shiho followed, and together they crouched right there. "Why, Shiho? Why?"

Shiho curled her hand against the back of Ann’s head, cheek leaned against her hair. She felt every tremble, every ounce of pain raking through her best friend’s body. 

And all Shiho could wonder drowning in this together was when they had last been so close. Close enough to feel each other’s warmth, to talk honestly. Even about the ugliness and pain. 

Maybe, if Shiho hadn’t been to scared to - if she hadn’t kept lying and lying about how it was all fine, smiling and pretending she was being brave, then - 

If she had ended it at the bruises, then - maybe -

But it didn’t matter. Shiho held onto Ann tighter, needing her warmth to even make herself speak, make herself  _ explain.  _ Because this was what had happened. This was what she had to carry on with, somehow. If not for her own sake, then for Ann’s.

"I couldn't -" But she cut off, lacking the words to convey the horror. To convey what would have made her surrender  _ life. _ Or even what saved her, woke her up. Made her fight, at least from breath to breath. “I'm sorry, Ann. I'm so sorry," she forced out, her own voice breaking. "Ann -" Shiho held her tighter. Her Ann, the person who mattered the most to her. "I'm so sorry. I can't tell you. I'm sorry. I won't - I won't do anything like that again, but please don’t make me -"

Ann froze completely. It was almost terrifying that way, and worse was when she pulled back from that tight hug. The look in her eyes was searching, and Shiho could see it - Ann’s eyes widening in horror as she connected all of Kamoshida’s cryptic sentences. 

Shiho felt naked beneath her gaze. Like Ann saw right through the frail shell holding Shiho together right now, to her shattered core. 

"Did he -"

"Ann,  _ don’t _ ." Shiho couldn't do this. She couldn't talk about this right now, acknowledge this, any of it. "Don't go near him again," was all she said, her voice small, but commanding. 

"Shiho," Ann gasped again, covering her mouth with her hands. "Shiho, I -"

"Don't. Ann, I can't. I can't do this. I can't." Her hands were shaking so hard. "Please. You're okay, right?" That was right. Shiho tossed her mind to nothing but Ann right now, Ann who was still okay. Ann who had not been through that same horror. Shiho had been fast enough. Strong enough.

If not for herself, then at least -

"Of course I'm okay, you - you came to get me." Ann hiccuped with her tears, no longer bothering to wipe them away. She was so lost and so angry, and Shiho felt the same.

Lost and angry and confused. 

"I don't know what to do, Shiho. I don't know how to -"

Shiho lifted Ann's wrist, staring at the bruise there. How had she not noticed? She was going to kill him. She was. "You should cool this."

"It's nothing! Shiho, are  _ you _ okay, this is -"

"You have to cool it." 

"It's nothing," Ann said, miserable, but Shiho didn't let go of her hand, soothing her fingers along the bruise mindlessly. "You have to take care."

"Shiho ..."

That was when the door to the roof opened and the boys appeared, Ryuji first, stomping over with his arms full of bottles, and Akira following more slowly, his perceptive eyes darting between Ann and Shiho. Shiho pulled her hand away. "I'll get you a wet towel to put on it," she said quickly, and shoved to her feet. 

When Akira followed her as a silent shadow, Shiho wasn't exactly surprised, but she huffed. "I'm not some baby."

She was angry at him, too. Just for his presence being reassuring, and making it easier to walk through the school. 

He fell in step with her easily. "I know," Akira said, matter of fact, and nothing else. Shiho  _  was  _ grateful for his quiet, steady company. It helped her heart calm. She ducked into the girl's toilet and wet some paper towels for lack of better options, and took the opportunity to wash her face with cold water, too, before she returned to where Akira was waiting leaned against the wall.

Shiho felt a little more steady. It had to be enough, for now.

The hiss of the whispers surrounding them was a shared burden between them now. "I'm sorry I'm getting us expelled," she said, hands clenched into fists. "But I'm not sorry for attacking that bastard. Just sorry I didn't do it properly."

"Fair,” Akira said, gaze right ahead, but Shiho knew she had all his attention. He seemed, implausibly, much older than he could be. “Look forward to scouring his Palace, then."

That was right. There was still a chance to punish him, to turn this all around.  "Oh, I am."

Shiho breathed and this time when she walked up the steps, she felt at least a little more stable. Sitting in the eye of a storm that would hit her someday, maybe soon, but not yet.

Not yet.

When they made it back to the roof, what they found wasn't what Shiho had expected.

Ann had Ryuji against the wall, hands fisted in his collar. "ANSWER ME!"

Akira and Shiho traded a wide-eyed glance, but neither moved just yet. Ann wasn't exactly being violent, but her fire had always been a force to behold. "I know you know something! First we don't talk since middle school and now you're suddenly hanging out with Shiho! Trick my ass! I know you know something!"

Akira finally moved at Ryuji's pleading glance at him. "I think that's enough." 

Ann shot him a dark glance. "Don't think I'm through with  _ you _ , either, new boy."

"Ann." Shiho stepped closer, the stupid wet towel still clutched in her hand. "Stop. Ask ... me. I'll tell you what you'll want to know. About the jump," she specified. 

Nothing else.

"W-w-wait just a second!" Ryuji said, ducking behind Akira with a screech as Ann jerked in place to grab him again. Akira kept a remarkably calm face as Ryuji grabbd and jostled him. "You can't just decide something like that! We can't -"

"You can't what!" Ann jabbed an accusing finger at Ryuji that came remarkably close to hitting Akira’s chest. 

Shiho just wanted the chaos to calm down. She didn’t need  _ more  _ yelling. "Just because we tell her about it doesn't mean well take her along, right?" The last thing Shiho wished was for Ann to see ... any of that. 

The thought of her having to face down that terrible shadow puppet of herself made Shiho want to swing her morning star until she stopped thinking, feeling, until all she was was revenge itself. 

Shiho would dirty her hands, and Ann could be safe and sound and would never be burdened with that.

Honestly, Shiho should have anticipated Ann’s anger turning on her, though. 

"Take me along  _ where _ ? All I know is you jumped and then Ryuji kept telling me it'd be fine and you were gone for  _ hours _ . All I got was a stupid text from you! And now?! I know something's going on, and if you won't tell me, I'll find out myself!"

"Maybe we should all sit down and have a soda," Akira chimed in, his voice quiet, but seeming louder than all the shouting together. It carried weight.

Enough to bring them all together and attempt to explain the basics of Shiho’s rescue.

  
  


"And you'd refuse to let me join this mission  _ why _ exactly?" Ann asked, twisting the string on the cap over and over, stretching the plastic beyond recognition. The storm in her eyes was brewing ever more. “Considering I’d have the chance to get revenge for what he did -” She cut herself off abruptly, and Shiho pretended really hard it didn’t affect her. 

"That place is no place for a lady," Morgana said, going unheard to Ann, and Shiho poked his side half-heartedly, to which he yelled. But her heart wasn't in it.

"I want you to be safe," Shiho said, not finding better words.

"Well, I want  _ you _ to be safe!” Ann shot back. “This entire thing is super creepy, so either you just made it all up, or you're gonna have to deal with the fact that I'll help out!"

"That ain't happening!" Ryuji interjected. Ann jerked in place as if to grab him again and he flinched, but stood by his point. Of course he did. "You could die in there, or worse! It's full of guards and guns and crazy stuff! You should just be grateful you don't have to listen to Morgana's yappin' all the time and sit it out!"

"HEY!" Morgana yelled.

Akira leaned forward, hands folded. "It  _ is _ dangerous. Maybe you could find another way to support us. From the outside."

"From the outside," Ann repeated, brows drawig together. Her displeasure practically radiated from her in waves. "Great. Fantastic. Just tell me how to help from the 'outside' then." She put down her soda and got to her feet, which for some reason made Shiho panic. She didn't - didn’t want to let Ann slip out of sight.

The paper towel sat unused on the table, in a sad heap. 

"Then I wish you good luck. I got a job I gotta be at soon so I need to leave now. I guess if you find any use for me, just text me or something." Ann looked at Shiho this time, a gaze so full of tangled emotion and pain that it made Shiho freeze.

Shiho reached out slowly, without thought, but Ann already turned with her pigtails swinging. 

She waved a hand without turning around. "Have fun with your super secret meetings!"

The boys and Shiho looked at each other as the door fell shut and left them without Ann’s loud presence.

“Jeez, that girl,” Ryuji muttered, rubbing his neck. 

Morgana launched into a discussion what task may be found, for Lady Ann - (Lady Ann?) - to which Akira nodded.

And Shiho stared at the paper towels on the table, dread crawling through her. 

She couldn’t help the feeling that something vital had shattered between Ann and her, and she did not know how to fix it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kamoshida doesn't get to do any more damage beyond what his words can do. Nothing beyond blackmailing happened to Ann, and that asshole will not touch Shiho again ever. 
> 
> I'll do my best to delve as deep into healing and the complicated progress of that tossed into the mess of stealing hearts and Feelings and growing up as I can - I'm not sure how far I'll carry this series, but I promise there won't be more damage done. There will be stumbling and all the pain that comes from what happened. But everyone's gotten enough shit in canon, didn't they?
> 
> Next week: Shiho gets her thief name! I'm excited! Hope you are, too!

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell at me on [twitter.](https://twitter.com/citrusfluegel)


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